Choppy Sea....

I rode the waves furiously up a choppy sea,
Amidst the dark skies and the torrents rough.
Never knew I would crash, burn and want to flee,
When I viewed myself a Victor through Life's Crest and Trough.

One day I shall return to converse with the sea,
When it is crashing the answers into my ears.
I would ponder over the yesterday's these days will then be,
I will probably learn to live with my fears.

Battles, Victories, Losses and the in betweens make me ponder,
Over the means more than outcomes which set my bar.
It's million facets fascinate, astonish, sadden and make me wonder,
Of what a dynamically fluid stage life has been thus far.

Courting Full Stop.

No! I'm not Suicidal..But Fascinated by the Forbidden Fruit which I will bite someday..Naturally..Just not today....

Sultry Gaze and Entrancing Whispers,
Calling out My Name from not too far.
I know who it is and her name gives me no jitters,
'Cause death is my Seductress and my Shooting Star.

A queer choice of mine they say - Elusive and Dark,
Unholy, Cowardly, Lowly and Saddening.
I like a life for me to be way too stark,
And for Death to be loving me in ways beyond maddening.

Why not court Life instead they ask, almost too appalled,
Don't I get charmed by its enormous fancies to skip and hop.
Truly not a lot to look forward to since I've seen it all,
Death is Catharsis - Different, Final, The End and The Full Stop.

In My Eyes

In My Eyes..

Living on the precipice of what..I may never say nor know,
Looking out..out in the beautiful glorious wonders of nature.
I want to see but see my eyes on the outside -
Looking in..sensing my being..curious..

Calm down, says my brain as those are only your eyes,
What is to worry for you are a closed book.
Never opening it all up..keeping your guard up,
What will they see and what will you lose?

I see my eyes intently scrutinizing Me,
They look intrigued, yet distant — almost detached.
I wonder if they saw something i didn't ever see,
I hear their scream of silence bordering on boredom.

Then I hear them Run till the sounds fade away!

The Person in You..

The Person in YOU..
This is for YOU - Special One, who entered my life when all else was there and yet not....

Warmth emanates out of somewhere,
Someplace that had once bloomed and then went bleak.
It may be difficult for me to take this dare,
But, that place throbs again in excitement, it so longed to seek.

I try to make some sense of the matter,
All sparks ensue at the mere sight of you.
Try to engage myself in your friendly banter,
To maintain my composure every day becomes more difficult to do.

I see a childlike naivete on an Alpha Male,
His eyes mirthful pools, attached, detached and unfathomable.
His persona that of an anti - hero from a favourite tale,
I find the combination Disastrously Delectable.

Is it his body or his spirit I more long to meet,
I ask myself over and find myself laughing.
No one else has ever made me so skip a beat,
It's You - the Person you are in Entirety that makes this so Fulfilling!

Is this Another Birthday?

(FOR BOGART'S 25th BIRTHDAY)

What would you be doing today?
Will you be the light of our eyes?
Will you emote fascinatingly in your animated gestures?
Or will you bring me cheer the way you do?

Will you be frolicking around like a little one?
Or would you be the woman I know for her will?
Will you be pondering and lost in thoughts of beyond?
Or galloping on a horse to conquer the world?

Does your birthday have a protocol?
Must age bring with itself the burden of responsibilities?
Or would you be strong to keep the balancing act?
Knowing You, Do I Even Have a Doubt?

That Much More!

Never been held in arms so warm and strong,
When I was unsure of myself and things around me..
Made me feel at home and feel no wrong,
In places I had never felt right before..

Wanting you as much in life had never been the problem,
It's the thirst for u so unquenchable, it parches my soul ..
Waiting had never been the issue for I was surer than the word..
Only every moment near or away makes me love you that much more....

Yours..With Love.....

I meet u once in a blue moon, awake and aware,
With stars in my eyes and expectations to boot.
I wonder if you see me when I see you there,
I feel like taking you to paradise with all the time we can loot.

I stare into your eyes and feel a flutter down my world,
The ecstasy of meeting goes beyond all words.
I drink in your presence and feel my spirit swirled,
And feel the strength of a love that can surmount all blizzards.

I then look into your eyes gone red and those lines of worry on your head,
The burden of anger and frustrating thoughts that can feed on love and thrive.
I would rather see you Smile and Laugh in abandon instead,
Erase those battles within with love and help us survive.

I worry not I shall say and stay, if only you have the patience to keep calm,
I can be your damsel in distress or your knight in a shining dress if push comes to shove.
Wipe away that belligerent anger and every random qualm.
To show you that I am yours and there is no one I would rather Love.

The Illusionist

This is for a friend/colleague who is into poetry himself. His name would mean Indrajaalik in Bengali and my poetry writing marathon lead me to write on somebody who would appreciate this as his birthday gift..

THE ILLUSSIONIST

How do I see him?
In darkness and daylight,
Two different people,
As ambiguous to one another,
As to me.

Is it Naiveté?
That forces him to cling and part,
From people and places,
Oblivious to their needs,
And mostly his own.

What do I see?
Standing at a distance looking in,
I see him smile,
His smile mirthful, thought provoking,
And a little haunting.

Does he see me?
It matters not to me ,
These games of knowing and not,
Continue over time,
Maybe they won't stop.

Shared from Google Keep.

A LOT MORE LOVED....

I Wrote this on 28th of September 2014. Mine and I are the flipsides of the same coin that complete one another.. Mine is made for greatness..meant for care and  loving devotion. Though mine can be insensitive towards mine..thereby hurting me.. Therefore the poem..because Mine is.... A LOT MORE LOVED!

A LOT MORE LOVED....

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Your warmth radiates n brightens up days.
Your smile touches more lives and renders significance everyday.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you than you know..
Your work ethic an example that teaches others to follow.
Your life story a graph designed from nadir to zenith.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Despite a blinding white rage that obliterates my existance.
Despite insensitive actions that suck the life out of me.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Your actions a contradiction I find hard to keep up with.
And despite everything good, bad, benevolent or malicious, I am always there.
If only you could have the eyes to see....

The Traveller

I am a traveller,
I wonder endlessly in the world within and without
Writing down memories on the page or in my mind
I live for love, art, peace and adventure
I strive for a perfection that can be attained and then some
A bundle of laughter, a volcano, a stoic face or a bucket of tears
A romantic, a skeptic, an entity not confined by words or bodies
A dreamer who dreams of reality that dreams are made of
I am an illusion..An Illusive Reality..A mass of Contradictions..
I cannot be second guessed for I fall into no Patterns
I am best at playing Me and worst at it too!

I am Me being Just Me....

Bed of Roses - Part 2

A boy of one and eight whom no one knew,

With tattered esteem and pennies too few.

Out on a street where no man-child grew,

With a hunger in his eyes, waiting for rescue.

Saw him begging his heart and soul out,

I sensed a silent cry  out in the crowd.

Scarlet me knew what this was all about,

I could revive him, of that I had no doubt.

I did the only thing I could, to relieve him,

I went to him, took him out, to take him in.

It was expected of me to make them all sing,

The nights became darker and days were dim.

In him his worries, I was able to shake,

With him life was not so bad, if not a cake.

He loved me alone, I felt it for love’s sake,

It was much more than a mutual give and take.

Spectrum

Today the world seems like a spectrum of resplendent colours ,

The spectacle is in continuum and I look at the hues with wonder.

Of course I am too young to decipher and too old to wish for its sustenance..

Yet I was born today and with certain innocence, I wish for that circle to go on....

Interlock

If I could see you another time..

You would have to look into my eyes.

See the endless mysteries in there getting resolved,

See the stars shining down and culminating into One.

When you do see me again..

Gaze into my depths and my eyes will devour your essence.

Consumed in one another, the words would come much later,

It will be like the interlock of two powerful, mystical forces.

Leap of Faith..

Getting it all was my big surprise,

Took a leap of faith and left everything to fate.

What I got was more than I had accounted for..

Losing it for the moment is becoming harder to take..

Not that I had mountains for expectations,

Only moments to live and feel alive.

Lost in the surreal magic of your realm..

Now bereft of your fantasy, there is nowhere I belong!!

Metamorphosis

Some years have passed to the bridge that was burnt,
Time is the only memory commemorating that event.
The wounds have healed and yet stand afresh,
Clear amid the many events marking this life.
Somewhere I don't trust time enough as I go back and forth..

I wonder if it was wrong right from the start,
Was it you or my naive faith in the goodness of the human species.
That I gave in without barriers waiting for empathy,
But empathy came not while an abyss grew over my life.
A barrage of tears well hidden within a stoic face..

Dewy words led to vitriolic actions,
My name that drug which gossip fed upon.
Spurned by people who showed me the smiles,
Mocked at and ridiculed for selfish whims and fancies.
The vicious cycle continued like I knew it would..

Was it so difficult not to be that malignant,
Wouldn't it be better if friendship begot friendship without the hypocrisy of it.
I wonder if I am still so stupid looking out for the best in all,
For the pain i have borne and the faith I have lost.
I think its time for the metamorphosis.....

My First Comic Booklet - Queen

Hello,

I have always wanted to explore the world of comics. Yes, I am curious about its multiple layers, the art, text, form - Everything! Though the medium has not been given its due respect as a literary genre, many Universities are understanding the importance of teaching Comics and are designing courses to cater to the curious / experimentalists / devotees / fans of this particularly spectacular genre.

There is a profundity in comics within its several layers. Comics can do anything. Without limitations like sets, makeup, or special effects, comic art encourages the transformation of subjective reality to objective reality. The art can feel like it’s coming directly from the artists’ sticky subconscious to the page. The readers make the action happen between the panels. Their movement on the page gives a different dimension to the comic.

As a part of a course assignment, I have created a Comic Booklet. This is my first experiment with creating something of this genre. I am providing two view and download links for the entire booklet. 

I hope you like it. Do read and enjoy the comic booklet. Please post in your invaluable comments about the same.

1.  http://www.scribd.com/doc/186590710/Comic-Booklet-Queen

2.  https://www.dropbox.com/s/hvrx7dmnhsafmh8/Queen.pdf

Live, Love and Laugh Always and Forever,

KROY!!

When Sales Gets into You, Poetry Gets Out of You....

It has been about a year to my last post. Never has it happened before that I was not a'mused' enough to write a poem or a lyric or express an opinion. But, maybe I was never up against my own ideologies which came crumbling down during my stint in a particular job profile - Sales. Though, I must say that the rigorous groundwork has equipped me to face a lot of harsh realities in life..realities, I didn't know existed and therefore didn't matter. Realities that may be a part of the lives of millions of people I share space with in this world. However, somewhere down the line, everything that pertained to my formal education vanished, replaced only by the 4 Ps of Marketing as mentioned by Nihit Kshatriya, a friend and junior from my esteemed B School - "Please, Please, Please and Please"..especially on Month Ends. Anyone who has ever been in Sales knows that this is one BIG ordeal.

The hallow and the obvious glow that comes with receiving an MBA degree from a good B School Vanishes on the field. Every romantic illusion or rosy picture that one has ever painted becomes a series of numbers - Targets dependent on the most Capricious of Clients. For me, not a single day passed without degradation or humiliation in some minute form and yet it was important to get through the ordeal with a smile on the face. Maybe it is not just Sales - it is Life. For a 'princess' like me, Sales is Definitely a Life Lesson. It is a lot of constant hard work and chase and everyday, there is a different challenge and more numbers.

However, sometimes I wonder that though I learnt quite a lot, what did I lose along the way. Well, the answer to that is quite a lot. I lost my rose tinted glasses which made me see the beauty of life. Never had I noticed the filth, the squalor, greed, anxiety, competition or ethical dilemmas to such an extent that I became weary and began to question my own ideologies and whether I was a good fit. I lost my innocence and it was soon replaced with cynicism. I lost the ability to form beautiful words and pictures that transported me to another world - the ability to compose a creative piece. The poetry flew out of me as if it was never even there, replaced by a vortex of mixed emotions bordering on negativity.

There was never a time in which I could stop to think about me. No energy left to get inspired and write something that came from a profundity deep within. No inspiration. In fact, my vision was blurred by the haze of numbers and the constant pressure to keep them moving. I could see no optimum utilisation of my formal education in two courses..Both seemed to be a severe misfit and my mind, which was heavily influenced by both was waiting to be rescued.

The choicest words in our collective vocabulary was a series of expletives which were vitriolic enough to burn a hole in the brain and the heart. Poetry???? What Poetry!!!! The whole point of it was that everything seemed a pointless chase for more and nothing seemed to hold any meaning because in chasing numbers, I had given up my life..all so that I could have a life in the future. Vicious Circle doesn't even begin to cover it.

I am Glad now that I could make the transition to a more fitting profile when my hard work met opportunity. I could come out with my values intact. I have my scars now. Life is never going to be an innocent girl's dream again. I am happy that in a way that I am better this way as our lives now are no modern day fairy tales. It involves a lot of smart work, hard work, grind and a lot of other gray, slimy things that we do not factor in. The one thing that I am very happy about is that I have the time to stop, breathe in the air and feel the beauty around me again. I feel re-invigorated, charged up, free enough to move the world - free enough to compose again. What I have been Given is Way too Precious for Me to Lose in the dreary corporate desert sands. The poetry is coming back, Thanks Someone's Healing Powers and there is nothing I will do to lose it this time....

Starry Night..

When I wrote  this, I couldn't find a title to this.... but you know what this is and who it is for and you can read it....

Staring up into the night,
Nothing but darkness visible.
Stars shimmering in the sky,
Sketching Patterns, Painting You..

A ceiling separates Me from Infinity,
From the starry promises of the night.
Dreaming a dream with eyes half closed,
Its subject well known to you..

What else would I dare to think,
With my subconscious dipped in you.
Enchanted by your Wicked Games,
Your cynicism against those bewitching eyes..

Where do I stand well into the night,
Half asleep and awake, in a state of abandon.
While you sleep away in your untouchable cocoon
Up in the stars - Unreachable and yet..
CHALLENGING MY LIMITS..

Patterns

 
Someday I shall weave my life,
Taking threads of various hues.
Creating an embroidery of emotions,
Taking one of me and one of you..

Perhaps someday you shall help me,
Create the perfect mess.
The patterns that the threads shall make,
Won't be nobody's guess..

Patches of interlocks they might be,
But fine art nonpareil
So shallow, so deep, the patterns make me weep,
They almost make me want to care....
 

Haunted

You haunt my senses.
Jarring me awake.
My senses afloat,
In a world of their own.
Dazed and Confused,
I look around myself.
To find the night bidding adieu,
And the twilight kissing me awake....