Dreams

My dreams are fractured but alive and on track.
They just take a while to catch up with my being.

The Soldier

Putting my insomnia to good use by writing this poem at 5:30 am this morning.

The Soldier....

Cacophonous, dizzying battles of the mind,
Quite the sketchy, Arduous affair.
No lines drawn on these battlefields,
To demarcate limits or borders.
And yet the battles rage on,
In Kitchens or Corporate Jungles.
Each having its predators and prey,
Each more simply complex than the other.

Tactics, strategies or boot licking,
To each his or her own rules for success.
The lines of sanity blur soon with the thirst for acceptance or power,
How soon before the predator becomes the prey?
The jungles have their rigid rules,
Kill or be killed being the primary one.
How long before a soldier becomes a savage?
Feeding off his own pride, lust and greed.

Tough to stay put and stand ones ground in these battles,
But the soldier must conquer his mind first for the Win.
In no jungle is there any scope for the weak,
But weakness or strength is for the soldier to define and question.
Is it worth losing humanity for the wars of the mind?
Or is it too easy to follow the herd and become a sheep?
Defiance is often taken as insubordination in a jungle.
Punished, mocked at, ostracized.
Yet these battles would be futile if they meant nothing and lead nowhere,
With the burden of choice hanging quite heavily on the soldier.

Your Smile

A million things beautiful hidden in your smile,
Hope that transcends my fears and everything dreary in the world.
Don't lose it my dear in the strife of  this life,
Among things mundane, humdrum and insane in here.

Do you know how infectious your smile can be?
Like a warm stroke of sunlight on a chilly winter day.
You know not the power of something as simple as this,
How you save lives everyday with such simple warmth.

I am amazed that you know not the potential that you have,
That you undermine your gifts and their effects on people.
Let me show you what you are all about my dear,
In a mirror that shows the constructive path of love and hope....

Passersby

Hi..just wrote my first post birthday poem for 2016.
So here goes..

Passersby....
By Kuheli Roy aka Kasak

Indeed it would be queer to cross paths without a glance,
Committing the other to memory.
Not a word spoken, no dream shared,
Just a series of random coincidences for meetings they know not they have had.

Or do they?

In that split second of passage,
Who knows what's in store for them.
For they have shared more than it may so seem to the mundane - time,
No matter how short it may be or long enough for destiny.

Isn't time relative?

Mine....

Welcome to my world,
My love is all for you to take.
If you see me..but would you?
In this world of spectacular sights and sounds,
Where would you find me?
I may be lost to you or maybe u will miss me....
I don't want either.
What i really want is your totality and I do not have conditions.

Maybe certain expectations arising out of this human existence,
Who are you to me but for the other half of myself!
Your absence and your presence blend into each other,
Colouring my universe in myriad hues.
You might be the best or the worst that can be to the world,
But all I can think of you is that You are mine and all that I wanted Mine to be.....

Choppy Sea....

I rode the waves furiously up a choppy sea,
Amidst the dark skies and the torrents rough.
Never knew I would crash, burn and want to flee,
When I viewed myself a Victor through Life's Crest and Trough.

One day I shall return to converse with the sea,
When it is crashing the answers into my ears.
I would ponder over the yesterday's these days will then be,
I will probably learn to live with my fears.

Battles, Victories, Losses and the in betweens make me ponder,
Over the means more than outcomes which set my bar.
It's million facets fascinate, astonish, sadden and make me wonder,
Of what a dynamically fluid stage life has been thus far.

Courting Full Stop.

No! I'm not Suicidal..But Fascinated by the Forbidden Fruit which I will bite someday..Naturally..Just not today....

Sultry Gaze and Entrancing Whispers,
Calling out My Name from not too far.
I know who it is and her name gives me no jitters,
'Cause death is my Seductress and my Shooting Star.

A queer choice of mine they say - Elusive and Dark,
Unholy, Cowardly, Lowly and Saddening.
I like a life for me to be way too stark,
And for Death to be loving me in ways beyond maddening.

Why not court Life instead they ask, almost too appalled,
Don't I get charmed by its enormous fancies to skip and hop.
Truly not a lot to look forward to since I've seen it all,
Death is Catharsis - Different, Final, The End and The Full Stop.

In My Eyes

In My Eyes..

Living on the precipice of what..I may never say nor know,
Looking out..out in the beautiful glorious wonders of nature.
I want to see but see my eyes on the outside -
Looking in..sensing my being..curious..

Calm down, says my brain as those are only your eyes,
What is to worry for you are a closed book.
Never opening it all up..keeping your guard up,
What will they see and what will you lose?

I see my eyes intently scrutinizing Me,
They look intrigued, yet distant — almost detached.
I wonder if they saw something i didn't ever see,
I hear their scream of silence bordering on boredom.

Then I hear them Run till the sounds fade away!

The Person in You..

The Person in YOU..
This is for YOU - Special One, who entered my life when all else was there and yet not....

Warmth emanates out of somewhere,
Someplace that had once bloomed and then went bleak.
It may be difficult for me to take this dare,
But, that place throbs again in excitement, it so longed to seek.

I try to make some sense of the matter,
All sparks ensue at the mere sight of you.
Try to engage myself in your friendly banter,
To maintain my composure every day becomes more difficult to do.

I see a childlike naivete on an Alpha Male,
His eyes mirthful pools, attached, detached and unfathomable.
His persona that of an anti - hero from a favourite tale,
I find the combination Disastrously Delectable.

Is it his body or his spirit I more long to meet,
I ask myself over and find myself laughing.
No one else has ever made me so skip a beat,
It's You - the Person you are in Entirety that makes this so Fulfilling!

Is this Another Birthday?

(FOR BOGART'S 25th BIRTHDAY)

What would you be doing today?
Will you be the light of our eyes?
Will you emote fascinatingly in your animated gestures?
Or will you bring me cheer the way you do?

Will you be frolicking around like a little one?
Or would you be the woman I know for her will?
Will you be pondering and lost in thoughts of beyond?
Or galloping on a horse to conquer the world?

Does your birthday have a protocol?
Must age bring with itself the burden of responsibilities?
Or would you be strong to keep the balancing act?
Knowing You, Do I Even Have a Doubt?

That Much More!

Never been held in arms so warm and strong,
When I was unsure of myself and things around me..
Made me feel at home and feel no wrong,
In places I had never felt right before..

Wanting you as much in life had never been the problem,
It's the thirst for u so unquenchable, it parches my soul ..
Waiting had never been the issue for I was surer than the word..
Only every moment near or away makes me love you that much more....

Yours..With Love.....

I meet u once in a blue moon, awake and aware,
With stars in my eyes and expectations to boot.
I wonder if you see me when I see you there,
I feel like taking you to paradise with all the time we can loot.

I stare into your eyes and feel a flutter down my world,
The ecstasy of meeting goes beyond all words.
I drink in your presence and feel my spirit swirled,
And feel the strength of a love that can surmount all blizzards.

I then look into your eyes gone red and those lines of worry on your head,
The burden of anger and frustrating thoughts that can feed on love and thrive.
I would rather see you Smile and Laugh in abandon instead,
Erase those battles within with love and help us survive.

I worry not I shall say and stay, if only you have the patience to keep calm,
I can be your damsel in distress or your knight in a shining dress if push comes to shove.
Wipe away that belligerent anger and every random qualm.
To show you that I am yours and there is no one I would rather Love.

The Illusionist

This is for a friend/colleague who is into poetry himself. His name would mean Indrajaalik in Bengali and my poetry writing marathon lead me to write on somebody who would appreciate this as his birthday gift..

THE ILLUSSIONIST

How do I see him?
In darkness and daylight,
Two different people,
As ambiguous to one another,
As to me.

Is it Naiveté?
That forces him to cling and part,
From people and places,
Oblivious to their needs,
And mostly his own.

What do I see?
Standing at a distance looking in,
I see him smile,
His smile mirthful, thought provoking,
And a little haunting.

Does he see me?
It matters not to me ,
These games of knowing and not,
Continue over time,
Maybe they won't stop.

Shared from Google Keep.

A LOT MORE LOVED....

I Wrote this on 28th of September 2014. Mine and I are the flipsides of the same coin that complete one another.. Mine is made for greatness..meant for care and  loving devotion. Though mine can be insensitive towards mine..thereby hurting me.. Therefore the poem..because Mine is.... A LOT MORE LOVED!

A LOT MORE LOVED....

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Your warmth radiates n brightens up days.
Your smile touches more lives and renders significance everyday.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you than you know..
Your work ethic an example that teaches others to follow.
Your life story a graph designed from nadir to zenith.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Despite a blinding white rage that obliterates my existance.
Despite insensitive actions that suck the life out of me.
If only you could have the eyes to see..

A lot more loved you are than you know..
Your actions a contradiction I find hard to keep up with.
And despite everything good, bad, benevolent or malicious, I am always there.
If only you could have the eyes to see....

The Traveller

I am a traveller,
I wonder endlessly in the world within and without
Writing down memories on the page or in my mind
I live for love, art, peace and adventure
I strive for a perfection that can be attained and then some
A bundle of laughter, a volcano, a stoic face or a bucket of tears
A romantic, a skeptic, an entity not confined by words or bodies
A dreamer who dreams of reality that dreams are made of
I am an illusion..An Illusive Reality..A mass of Contradictions..
I cannot be second guessed for I fall into no Patterns
I am best at playing Me and worst at it too!

I am Me being Just Me....

Bed of Roses - Part 2

A boy of one and eight whom no one knew,

With tattered esteem and pennies too few.

Out on a street where no man-child grew,

With a hunger in his eyes, waiting for rescue.

Saw him begging his heart and soul out,

I sensed a silent cry  out in the crowd.

Scarlet me knew what this was all about,

I could revive him, of that I had no doubt.

I did the only thing I could, to relieve him,

I went to him, took him out, to take him in.

It was expected of me to make them all sing,

The nights became darker and days were dim.

In him his worries, I was able to shake,

With him life was not so bad, if not a cake.

He loved me alone, I felt it for love’s sake,

It was much more than a mutual give and take.

Spectrum

Today the world seems like a spectrum of resplendent colours ,

The spectacle is in continuum and I look at the hues with wonder.

Of course I am too young to decipher and too old to wish for its sustenance..

Yet I was born today and with certain innocence, I wish for that circle to go on....

Interlock

If I could see you another time..

You would have to look into my eyes.

See the endless mysteries in there getting resolved,

See the stars shining down and culminating into One.

When you do see me again..

Gaze into my depths and my eyes will devour your essence.

Consumed in one another, the words would come much later,

It will be like the interlock of two powerful, mystical forces.

Leap of Faith..

Getting it all was my big surprise,

Took a leap of faith and left everything to fate.

What I got was more than I had accounted for..

Losing it for the moment is becoming harder to take..

Not that I had mountains for expectations,

Only moments to live and feel alive.

Lost in the surreal magic of your realm..

Now bereft of your fantasy, there is nowhere I belong!!

Metamorphosis

Some years have passed to the bridge that was burnt,
Time is the only memory commemorating that event.
The wounds have healed and yet stand afresh,
Clear amid the many events marking this life.
Somewhere I don't trust time enough as I go back and forth..

I wonder if it was wrong right from the start,
Was it you or my naive faith in the goodness of the human species.
That I gave in without barriers waiting for empathy,
But empathy came not while an abyss grew over my life.
A barrage of tears well hidden within a stoic face..

Dewy words led to vitriolic actions,
My name that drug which gossip fed upon.
Spurned by people who showed me the smiles,
Mocked at and ridiculed for selfish whims and fancies.
The vicious cycle continued like I knew it would..

Was it so difficult not to be that malignant,
Wouldn't it be better if friendship begot friendship without the hypocrisy of it.
I wonder if I am still so stupid looking out for the best in all,
For the pain i have borne and the faith I have lost.
I think its time for the metamorphosis.....